Hey!

Just stopping by to check up on whoever has been checking up on me lol.

School has been in for about two months now and I haven’t been able to find much time to work on my craft, despite having a great hunger to do so. I have, however, found an hour or two to come up with a few quick beats that I found myself freestyle singing to in my car as I drove to school this morning. In addition to doing that, I also tried to freestyle to a few YouTube r&b instrumentals…I had fun. It was a legit driver seat concert! Hahaha.

Found this quote on the internet and thought it was nice.

To me, this was just what I needed to read while I felt as if I was creating distance between me and my craft. I had no choice but to take a break due to school and work and the required time that I must dedicate to those things. Yes, school is important and yes work is important because I am trying to set up my future and pay my bills. HOWEVER!!! Music is also important. MY MUSIC is important because it is my peace in the midst of the chaos, my calm within the storm, my oxygen as I breathe out my carbon dioxide….my listening ear or shoulder to lean on when my best friends are busy….I cannot give up on that. I cannot bear to lose that. The connection I have with my music runs deeper than any valley on earth and it grounds me deep in my soul to the point where when I run out of words to say or think my music picks up that lost translation and gets my message across.

So as I sit in the back of this classroom I cannot focus because all of my thoughts are on my music and what I wish I was doing with it. So much time has passed and I’m in a crippling situation because I can’t express myself fully and release the melodies floating around my head filling up space that my school work should be occupying…I’m expanding my headspace because so many things are in my mind but mentally I’m building walls in an attempt to separate my good from my bad and give my music as much of me as possible while trying to suppress the arithmetic for my business statistics course and all of my other school classes. There are so many thoughts in my head that as I’m trying to write it all down I find myself disregarding the correct grammar because my thoughts are longer than they should be….so they run on….I’m sitting in the back of this classroom because I don’t want to engage, instead of I want to daydream about how happy my music makes me and how great the feeling is going to be when I get the chance to work on it again.

I realize I have been all over the place with this post but it’s only because I’m trying to get everything out of my head…

I’m torn….between my dreams and a good career. Do I want to be happy chasing my dreams and hoping to secure the bag or do I put my dreams in my back pocket for the time being while focusing on my school work and job until securing a pretty good career so that I can THEN make time for my happiness? What do I do? What would You do??

Let me know down in the comments. Don’t be afraid to talk to me lol.